Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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