Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
