There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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