1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
