how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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