exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
