Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
