Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
