I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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