Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
