Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
