He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
love makes seman taste better
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
