totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
