So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
did i just pee glitter
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
