i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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