Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
