When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
