I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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