just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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