I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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