better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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