it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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