I hate all girls vehemently.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
