Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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