Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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