I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
