I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
