pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
only you would photoshop your dick
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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