This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Man, jail baloney is awful.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize