i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
