How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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