Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
