im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
