also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
