the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
