Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize