you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
