Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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