I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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