why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
