he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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