She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
