glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize