And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
