she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
