Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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