My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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