what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
