He is an equal opportunity slut.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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