operation have a gay friend backfired
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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