Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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