Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.

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(816): View more from Missouri

votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko

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(609): View more from New Jersey

did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

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(212): View more from New York

I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.

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(219): View more from Indiana

The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.

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(905): View more from Ontario

He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.

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