And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
