I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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