Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Rumble strips road head = magical
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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