it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
