did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
