we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
