She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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