that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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