Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
