thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
