she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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