Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
