hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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