he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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