she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
