to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i believe in u and ur pee
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
