Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
