She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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