She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
