how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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