And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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